Price: Ways to show affection for your husband
I’ve mentioned before that I find great joy in introducing readers of this column to marriage resources you likely have not yet heard of. Today’s guest columnist, speaker and author Kathi Lipp, likely falls in that category. I’m not exactly certain how I came across her, but I am sure glad I did — especially since this is Father’s Day Weekend. I am pleased that Kathi has agreed to be my guest on "TWOgether as ONE" at 6 p.m. Monday on KLJH 107.1FM. She’ll be sharing some great insights into how to have a happy, healthy successful marriage.
Kathi is the author of several books, all available at her website, www.kathilipp.com. In her recent book "101 Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him," she offers a wealth of creative ideas for how to love and encourage your husband to be the man he’s called to be. Here are just a couple fun ideas she suggests to show love to your man.
Pick a part, any part
Pick a part of your husband’s body and compliment him on it.
My husband has a cute tush. He really does. I love it in jeans — or not. But I realized I’d never let him in on that little secret. He would constantly compliment me on various aspects of my physique that he particularly appreciated, but it never occurred to me that he might need the same.
So now I try to be liberal with my admiration. Since he’s been running, I like to put my hand on his thigh and say, “Someone’s been working out.” When he decides to shave (we live in Silicon Valley so the standards for facial hair are pretty relaxed around these parts), I like to rub his cheeks and remind him how absolutely kissable that face is.
And let me tell you, he eats it up. He loves when I lavish on him. He loves that I notice the best parts of him. Sure, he loves it when I compliment him on his brilliant mind or the way he is so gentle with kids, but there’s something in a man that needs to hear from his woman that he does it for her in every way possible.
Here are a couple other ways to let your man know that you find him desirable in the most primal way possible:
- Be verbal. It may feel weird at first to speak such things aloud. But to compliment your husband’s eyes or chest will ring in his ear all day long.
- Be touchy. Run your fingers through his hair (or over his heart if hair is no longer a factor). Put your hand on his thigh and give him a little squeeze with a soft "Mmm … " in his ear.
Protect his dignity
Protect your husband’s dignity every day.
More than anyone else in his life, you have the ability to keep your husband’s dignity intact. Never let him be shamed in front of you — by anyone.
It was awkward, to say the least. My husband had forgotten the garlic salt, again. He’d gone back into the house twice to get it, but between manning the barbecue, entertaining guests for his son’s birthday and holding a conversation with his daughter about the new ride at Disney, Roger had gotten distracted, again.
Which wouldn’t have been a big deal, except his ex-wife was there to see the whole thing.
"Can you believe how forgetful he is? I swear, if his head wasn’t attached, he would leave it behind everywhere he went." She said this in my general direction, but so that everyone could hear.
Now I had two choices at this moment. Join in the teasing or stand up for my man. And that decision wasn’t as easy as it seemed on the surface. I’d been working really hard to make a new kind of relationship with my stepkids’ mom, so my first instinct was to join in on the good-natured ribbing. And I might have, if it had been anyone but my husband.
And because it was my husband, I knew that I needed to shut it down. I didn’t want to start a precedent of it being me against him — I always want to land on his side.
So I said to her, "Actually, I’m always impressed how he can keep track of everything that’s going on. If he forgets an occasional detail, it’s because he’s managing so much all the time."
It may seem like a little thing, but to my husband it meant a lot.
Here are a couple other ways to protect his dignity every day:
- Only speak well of him in public. It’s easy (and expected) to bash your husband when you are with certain groups. It does take some backbone to go against the crowd of women who are making jokes about how incapable their husbands are. But when you speak well, you give other wives the permission that they just may be looking for to do the same for their man.
- Post well, post often. Opinions are formed on social media. Make sure that your peeps know what yours is of your man.
Ron Price is the owner and operator of Productive Outcomes Inc. and the author of "PLAY NICE in Your Sandbox at Work," an e-book available on Amazon. He can be reached at 505-324-6328.